Complicated simplicity

Life is so...I don't want to say complicated but I suppose it's a cliche for a reason.

Not because it is or because we make it so, but because that's all we know, the wars our countries fight are complicated, the way our governments work is complicated. 

Nothing is as simple as it should be, we have to ask ourselves 20 questions before we allow ourselves to buy that Top or those shoes.

We have to ask the exact right questions to the exact right person to get any help or answers, because no one will offer up their help.

I don't understand why people can't just be honest, why people don't offer help, why nothing is as simple as it should be.

One if my new goals is to live simply, be honest, help people, if I want something I'll get it, because this money and these houses, my phone, none of it will mean anything when I'm ill or dead.

The journey to loving myself

This year every week or every other week I will be make a post about either what I did that week or what I am planning for the week ahead of a task or similar for finding self love.

Loving myself is something I have always struggled with so this year I want to change that and I hope if anyone reads this or future posts they find something helpful.

Here's to a new year and all the amazing things to come.

Love Kez.

Dear world

Why do things happen ? Why are things the way they are? Why can't something's be changed ? 

Why are some of us forced to live this way and I say that as one of the lucky ones, and if I'm suffering and I'm lucky I can't even fathom how the unlucky ones suffer.

Why is it so hard to change the world for the better but it's so easily corrupt?

Dear life, please point me in the direction of the closest exit becuse I can't watch nor be a part of this anymore.

If this generation are this bad I don't want to see what the next has in store.

Dear world, why is it so easy for us to destroy you and yet you're the only one we have and once that ends so do we.

 Why do we not realise our mortality until it's to late ? 

Why do I have so many questions and why are so many unnswered ? 

Left behind

Being in your early twenties is supposed to one of the best times of your life. 

Your "supposed" to be doing great things, finishing university, finding a great job, finding "the one".

We're taught from a young age that there is a sort of "list" of things we're supposed to do in life, and for people like me who don't know what they want to do, or what they want from life yet feel left behind, like we're failing at a life we've bearly begun to explore.

And that's the thing, there is no list of things we have to do, no time limit to when and what we do.

I'm still struggling with this myself, while I watch people I went to school with starting families of their own, graduating and getting their dream job, I'm sitting at home thinking "what the actuall fuck" as I realise my mum's not home and I'm going to have to cook for myself.

We have to remember time is a human conception, we invented time,no other spiecies lives to minutes and hours like we do. 

We don't need to know what we want to do at 22 even at 32. There is no hurry, just focus on being ourselves and being human. Dolphins don't panic about being rich and famous, dogs don't worry about what time they have to get up. 

Do what you feel is right for you right now. 

Hopefully I'll get better at remembering this myself. 

It was right

I didn't apologise because I felt I had done something wrong. Infact I don't think I was in the wrong, the way the person perceived what I said was wrong, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't apologise, I just chose my words carefully, I apologised for making them feel about about themself. I didn't nessasarily apologise for me but for them to try and make them feel bette because they're important to me.

It's not alway easy to do what's right instead of what you think. This time I did it. It was a small step but a step in a good direction non the less.

Did you do the right thing today ?

Pet sitting

So this past week I have been pet and house sitting for friends while they went to Download (can you feel the jealousy seeping out of me) and during this week I realised..

I rely waaaayy to much on the internet to get me through a day. This may come across silly as I'm writing this on the internet, but what I mean is I seem to have forgotten what I used to do, like read and write, paint, excersise, anything....suddenly all I know is YouTube, tumblr and weheartit. 

Connecting with people is what helps us learn and inspires us to be creative and unique.

Animals are amazing, the way both us and them have found ways to communicate between species is fascinating.

Also I have amazing friends and a phenomenal family.

So remember to tell those who matter to you, you love them.

Love and respect animals and they will reciprocate. 

You are loved.

I hope you have a great week.

Experiencing life

I know I have been neglecting you for a while but like the title of my blog says I'm trying life (not doing so great so far). But we learn from our mistakes right ? Right ? 

I'm still going and working through some things but I'll try and get on more maybe even tell you about them.

I hope I can remember that each day isn't the be all and end all, I can change anything and everything if I want it enough. I am not limited by anyone's boundaries but my own and even they are flexible. 

Peace and love

The simple things

Earlier this week the child I look after (let's call him Adam) and I went to feed the ducks, I myself haven't done this for a few years, but watching Adam and just being there in the moment was something I think I've been missing in my life recently.

His little giggle every time a duck picked up the bread he threw was adorable, so innocent and full of joy, yet what we were doing was so simple. I had so much fun watching him and joining in.

I have missed the small and simple things.

So memo to self, enjoy everything no matter how small or simple it may seem.