Dear world

Why do things happen ? Why are things the way they are? Why can't something's be changed ? 

Why are some of us forced to live this way and I say that as one of the lucky ones, and if I'm suffering and I'm lucky I can't even fathom how the unlucky ones suffer.

Why is it so hard to change the world for the better but it's so easily corrupt?

Dear life, please point me in the direction of the closest exit becuse I can't watch nor be a part of this anymore.

If this generation are this bad I don't want to see what the next has in store.

Dear world, why is it so easy for us to destroy you and yet you're the only one we have and once that ends so do we.

 Why do we not realise our mortality until it's to late ? 

Why do I have so many questions and why are so many unnswered ? 

The darkness

This is just something I wrote a little while ago and re read recently and felt a power from it.

It's those of us that feel abandoned by our families and friends. Those of us who feel outcast and ignored. It's us that turn to darkness when light fails us.  And if this light is so good why did it fail us in the first place. Why am I and everyone like me left to fend for ourselves left to realise the mind is an awful place to think, the heart it a horrible place to stay and that nothing can mean anything with out both and none of all of it, that we are all alone, lost, searching, confused, angry.

As I sit surrounded by a promise of light, I feel trapped and lost all at once, I feel scared and powerful, weak and indestructible. I cannot think one train of thought, for the mind doesn't not stop, but I must as I am pulled in so many directions, to so many "lights" that the darkness comforts me, as I sleep I'm held in it's arms, as I breathe I inhale it, while I close my eyes it relaxes me. 

For darkness does not make promises it cannot keep, it just offers what it has with honesty.

In darkness I am me, not a me as seen by others, not a me as thought of by others, not even the me I think of myself, but the truest me. 

I am left both defenceless and protected, and not once do I feel pulled or pushed or forced, I feel peace,honesty, openness. I cannot always live in darkness, or so I am told, but I do not have to for the darkness can live in me.


This is my work and may not be used without credit. 

Left behind

Being in your early twenties is supposed to one of the best times of your life. 

Your "supposed" to be doing great things, finishing university, finding a great job, finding "the one".

We're taught from a young age that there is a sort of "list" of things we're supposed to do in life, and for people like me who don't know what they want to do, or what they want from life yet feel left behind, like we're failing at a life we've bearly begun to explore.

And that's the thing, there is no list of things we have to do, no time limit to when and what we do.

I'm still struggling with this myself, while I watch people I went to school with starting families of their own, graduating and getting their dream job, I'm sitting at home thinking "what the actuall fuck" as I realise my mum's not home and I'm going to have to cook for myself.

We have to remember time is a human conception, we invented time,no other spiecies lives to minutes and hours like we do. 

We don't need to know what we want to do at 22 even at 32. There is no hurry, just focus on being ourselves and being human. Dolphins don't panic about being rich and famous, dogs don't worry about what time they have to get up. 

Do what you feel is right for you right now. 

Hopefully I'll get better at remembering this myself. 

Say hello to my likkle friend!

No but seriously I wanted to show off my adorable little kitty.

His name is Timmy. 

He is part Norwegian forest cat and I loves him.   

I've had him for about 2years and got him when he was 14weeks old although I met him when he was only 10 weeks old.

This is Timmy facetiming with Sherif (my besties bunny)

This is him hiding in a McDonalds bag hehe!

This is where he sleeping while I write this.

It was right

I didn't apologise because I felt I had done something wrong. Infact I don't think I was in the wrong, the way the person perceived what I said was wrong, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't apologise, I just chose my words carefully, I apologised for making them feel about about themself. I didn't nessasarily apologise for me but for them to try and make them feel bette because they're important to me.

It's not alway easy to do what's right instead of what you think. This time I did it. It was a small step but a step in a good direction non the less.

Did you do the right thing today ?

Uk Health system

I have been having regular appointments with my doctor for years now. You'd think at this point he'd know what medication I take ( as it is literally written on the computer screen in front if him).

Or read my file quickly before I come in.

And the lack of funding for so many medical services is ridiculous, people are nothing without their health, because we'd be dead, so you would think things that involve keeping people alive get funding first and then the government can pay themselves an extra 20k for sitting on their arses fucking us over.

I hope if anyone else is struggling through the healthcare system, you know that the more you kick off the further you get ( just try not to be rude and mean to those who don't deserve it )

Peace and love 

Kezia

Ps. This is just my expirence and oppinion so please take it so.  

DIY white board

If you read my previous post you'll know that we're in the middle of moving and are stressed to never land and beyond. I also wrote about how much I'm in love with white boards and how handy they've been. 

So here's a cute and easy diy for making your own to suit your style and to look nice even when it's not in use :) 

What you'll need

Picture frame. (I chose this one as I had it laying around)

Wrapping paper or wall paper

A pencil

Scissors

1

Take the frame apart.

2

Use the card insert and place it on your paper ( I did it on the front to show you but I normally do it on the back so to avoid pencil marks) and mark out the size of paper you'll need to cut.

3

Cut paper to the size of your marks

4

Check everything fits 

Put your frame back together with the paper inserted where the picture would normally go, grab a dry wipe marker and write away.

Remember to have fun with it. 

These would make great gifts for those friends that are forgetful or that are heading to college/uni.

Hope you enjoy making yours.

Peace and love.